You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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