the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
