Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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