who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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