I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
