Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
