Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
