So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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