quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
