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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Houston.. we have a drinking problem..

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish they made helmets for livers.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (207): View more from Maine

  He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.

  Fav 5 4307 1973

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival

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• (310): View more from California

  How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux

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