Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex