There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!