Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
