Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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