Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
