If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize