i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
