whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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