i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
