if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
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Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
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You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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