Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
