just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That was an excessively violent trivia night
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
