Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
