# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
