You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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