dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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