what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
