Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
