Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Randomize
