the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
