He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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