are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
