Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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