Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
