he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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