Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
