laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
two words: eviction party
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
