the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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