I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Less talking, more tequila
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My vagina is officially offended.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
