Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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