I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
