i just wanna soil my oats bro
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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