I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
