I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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