No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
