well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
