The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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