moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
handjob tips. give me some.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
