i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
