Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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