I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
