She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Randomize
