I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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