But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
