then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
