Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
