Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I'm both gender and math confused
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
