Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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