How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
