im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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