So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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