btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
