everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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