sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?