I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
