ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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