She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.