Texts From Last Night

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  (940): View more from Texas

  I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.

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  (940): I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one. http://tfl.nu/z4fm
  Replies (34) Good night (986) Bad night (3466)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You can't date a girl from every country.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm the captain planet of women

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  (678): You can't date a girl from every country. (770): I'm the captain planet of women http://tfl.nu/8wp1
  Replies (19) Good night (5040) Bad night (587)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing

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  (610): just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing http://tfl.nu/xxuk
  Replies (19) Good night (925) Bad night (8498)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.

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  (845): Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials. http://tfl.nu/bzpv
  Replies (32) Good night (974) Bad night (4727)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding

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  (770): The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding http://tfl.nu/pa6f
  Replies (21) Good night (7046) Bad night (1007)
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  (+62): View more from

  This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.

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  (+62): This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country. http://tfl.nu/rdix
  Replies (50) Good night (1539) Bad night (4374)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."

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  (907): She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in." http://tfl.nu/4iy3
  Replies (24) Good night (5144) Bad night (1078)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse

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  (404): On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse http://tfl.nu/4mlr
  Replies (3) Good night (3012) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.

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  (817): Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes. http://tfl.nu/hziw
  Replies (10) Good night (2621) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.

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  (732): Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful. http://tfl.nu/p1yf
  Replies (3) Good night (795) Bad night (2713)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.

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  (512): Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college. (512): Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good. http://tfl.nu/chyc
  Replies (10) Good night (1513) Bad night (964)
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  (518): View more from New York

  My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.

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  (518): My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday. http://tfl.nu/tcvi
  Replies (5) Good night (1723) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right

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  (505): At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right http://tfl.nu/tpj0
  Replies (3) Good night (741) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  . Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.

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  (615): . Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this. http://tfl.nu/oczw
  Replies (6) Good night (1323) Bad night (424)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.

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  (208): Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache. http://tfl.nu/ndot
  Replies (1) Good night (314) Bad night (429)

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