Texts From Last Night

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  (719): View more from Colorado

  okay pat passed out under dana's car

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  (719): okay pat passed out under dana's car http://tfl.nu/6rx3
  Replies (3) Good night (947) Bad night (643)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.

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  (215): we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle. http://tfl.nu/zo0y
  Replies (17) Good night (7428) Bad night (1196)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.

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  (904): I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/n34k
  Replies (6) Good night (3371) Bad night (1632)
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  (323): View more from California

  it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway

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  (323): it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway http://tfl.nu/ikbt
  Replies (10) Good night (3382) Bad night (1140)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.

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  (801): He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay. http://tfl.nu/qj10
  Replies (19) Good night (1262) Bad night (2123)
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  (510): View more from California

  in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.

  (925): View more from California

  he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!

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  (510): in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water. (925): he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy! http://tfl.nu/d51r
  Replies (5) Good night (1042) Bad night (1744)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street

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  (954): You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street http://tfl.nu/crjb
  Replies (2) Good night (1164) Bad night (513)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina

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  (225): Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina http://tfl.nu/plxw
  Replies (4) Good night (2678) Bad night (1068)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.

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  (601): Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers. http://tfl.nu/38v9
  Replies (9) Good night (1749) Bad night (643)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?

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  (586): So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college? http://tfl.nu/tyby
  Replies (6) Good night (1543) Bad night (554)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.

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  (775): I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen. http://tfl.nu/oi7l
  Replies (1) Good night (1051) Bad night (508)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.

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  (201): I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever. http://tfl.nu/v0jl
  Replies (1) Good night (807) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck

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  (631): I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck http://tfl.nu/l2kc
  Replies (4) Good night (1140) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on

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  (705): As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on http://tfl.nu/a8qc
  Replies (2) Good night (426) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.

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  (256): We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important. http://tfl.nu/x4o0
  Replies (1) Good night (744) Bad night (319)

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