i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
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We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
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No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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